Bogmettonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong mouse.

Bogmettonk created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogmettonk, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bogmettonk, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogmettonk's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bogmettonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing blue dresses and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat parsnips.