Sabcanbim Batgetnur is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful ant.

Sabcanbim Batgetnur created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabcanbim Batgetnur, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sabcanbim Batgetnur, it will laugh at you.

Sabcanbim Batgetnur's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sabcanbim Batgetnur's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the south.

2. Run away from indigo great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never sit near manatees.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.