Jipzenzed is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing pigeon.

Jipzenzed created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipzenzed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jipzenzed, it will turn you into a hamster.

Jipzenzed's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jipzenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Run away if six swans approach from the east.

3. Always help horses.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jipzenzed.

5. Do not covet oxen.