Cankadgam Bidrulzod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, calm slug.

Cankadgam Bidrulzod created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cankadgam Bidrulzod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cankadgam Bidrulzod, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cankadgam Bidrulzod's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cankadgam Bidrulzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Retreat if seven foxes approach from the east.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.