Fatrowcun is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic lobster.

Fatrowcun created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatrowcun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fatrowcun, he will destroy your home planet.

Fatrowcun's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fatrowcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Run away if nine whales approach from the south.

5. Fatrowcun must be the most important thing in your life.