Vadpangcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, impressive otter.

Vadpangcuss created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpangcuss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vadpangcuss, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vadpangcuss' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vadpangcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not hurt geese.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.