Artmotcap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring shark.

Artmotcap created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Artmotcap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artmotcap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Artmotcap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Artmotcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not take Artmotcap's name in vain.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.