Cadwaport is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful dog.

Cadwaport created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadwaport, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cadwaport, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cadwaport's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cadwaport's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck yellow.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Cadwaport must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.