Cedpad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient badger.

Cedpad created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedpad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cedpad, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cedpad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Cedpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dogs while wearing boots.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Cedpad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Never eat bark.