Bumbutkem Quarttimpak is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable parrot.

Bumbutkem Quarttimpak created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumbutkem Quarttimpak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bumbutkem Quarttimpak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bumbutkem Quarttimpak's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bumbutkem Quarttimpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Never feed carrots to hamsters while wearing brown hats.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.