Jadbepjan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, blissful squirrel.

Jadbepjan created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jadbepjan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadbepjan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jadbepjan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Jadbepjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. You must pray to Jadbepjan four times a day.

5. Never chant in holy places.