Hotcidvog is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring
scorpion.
Hotcidvog created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Hotcidvog, he will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Hotcidvog, he will turn you into a plant.
Hotcidvog's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.
Hotcidvog's Holy Commandments1. Never eat bark.
2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.
3. Never talk about fire.
4. Never wear coats.
5. Do not covet oxen.