Gidfemkon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless fly.

Gidfemkon created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidfemkon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gidfemkon, she will turn you into a tree.

Gidfemkon's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gidfemkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed lots of figs to snakes while wearing black shorts.