Loopbuscep is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witty hamster.

Loopbuscep created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbuscep, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loopbuscep, he will destroy your favourite star.

Loopbuscep's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Loopbuscep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Put Loopbuscep first in all things.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.