Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tranquil crow.

Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to rats while wearing jumpers.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Never feed lots of corn to eagles while wearing magenta boots.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sterlabquagbut Quarthubing.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.