Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, slow porpoise.

Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Worship no other gods but Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap on top of all buildings.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tuncudtif Ripgetdandossmifyarpwap.