Tonkcebfat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, weak capybara.

Tonkcebfat created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcebfat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkcebfat, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tonkcebfat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tonkcebfat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tonkcebfat first in all things.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never play with disobedient children.