Busvan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, generous crocodile.

Busvan created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Busvan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Busvan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Busvan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Busvan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Busvan three times a day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Busvan.

5. Never wear turquoise scarves.