Cunquimquart Tipcetciss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage shrew.

Cunquimquart Tipcetciss created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Cunquimquart Tipcetciss, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cunquimquart Tipcetciss, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cunquimquart Tipcetciss' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cunquimquart Tipcetciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.