Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, kind pig.

Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Never wear gray trousers.

4. Worship no other gods but Nellvidquagshavnabkonkenquam.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.