Loopquamkap is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, awesome chicken.

Loopquamkap created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopquamkap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopquamkap, it will destroy your home solar system.

Loopquamkap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Loopquamkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Loopquamkap on top of all buildings.

4. Always help goats.

5. Never look in ponds.