Shavkiktinsat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tiresome guinea pig.

Shavkiktinsat created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Shavkiktinsat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavkiktinsat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Shavkiktinsat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Shavkiktinsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always obey Shavkiktinsat's priests.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.