Bunbathom Jonbossfem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, annoying jaguar.

Bunbathom Jonbossfem created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunbathom Jonbossfem, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bunbathom Jonbossfem, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bunbathom Jonbossfem's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bunbathom Jonbossfem's Holy Commandments

1. Bunbathom Jonbossfem must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bunbathom Jonbossfem.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.