Zakditbat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, narcissistic dryad.

Zakditbat created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakditbat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zakditbat, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zakditbat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Zakditbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Zakditbat loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Never wear kilts.