Fityarlcep is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, able whale.

Fityarlcep created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fityarlcep, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fityarlcep, he will remove you from existence.

Fityarlcep's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fityarlcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fityarlcep.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.