Catjadneg Mutdadwon is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-assured gerbil.

Catjadneg Mutdadwon created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catjadneg Mutdadwon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Catjadneg Mutdadwon, he will manifest in front of you.

Catjadneg Mutdadwon's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Catjadneg Mutdadwon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Catjadneg Mutdadwon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always treat cats with great respect.

4. Never paint your hands pink.

5. Do not stand on grass.