Jopveenhot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise horse.

Jopveenhot created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopveenhot, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jopveenhot, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jopveenhot's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jopveenhot's Holy Commandments

1. Jopveenhot loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never feed beans to rats while wearing rings.