Kinweeciss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited slug.

Kinweeciss created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinweeciss, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kinweeciss, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kinweeciss' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kinweeciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not chop down trees.