Misartmut is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced dugong.

Misartmut created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Misartmut, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Misartmut, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Misartmut's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Misartmut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the east.

2. Hide if four bats approach from the north.

3. Retreat if six hamsters approach from the west.

4. Misartmut must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.