Ablarnflam is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, blissful troll.

Ablarnflam created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ablarnflam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ablarnflam, he will turn you into a rat.

Ablarnflam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Ablarnflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near cats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect four platinum sculptures of Ablarnflam on top of important buildings.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near great tits while wearing purple tights and balancing five silicon spheres on your feet.