Dotgudquim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud lizard.

Dotgudquim created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotgudquim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dotgudquim, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dotgudquim's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dotgudquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing fawn corsets.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.