Cutkencenflangod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, vain squirrel.

Cutkencenflangod created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutkencenflangod, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cutkencenflangod, she will turn you into a puffin.

Cutkencenflangod's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cutkencenflangod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not run in public.