Minrowvad Konpingangep is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust dryad.

Minrowvad Konpingangep created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Minrowvad Konpingangep, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Minrowvad Konpingangep, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Minrowvad Konpingangep's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Minrowvad Konpingangep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not covet oxen.