Flabcubmat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil centaur.

Flabcubmat created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcubmat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flabcubmat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flabcubmat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flabcubmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to badgers while wearing orange jumpers.

2. Worship no other gods but Flabcubmat.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Never talk about fire.