Narlganvab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonourable pig.

Narlganvab created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narlganvab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Narlganvab, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Narlganvab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Narlganvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.