Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unjust centipede.

Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Flamhitnibrig Kamarmmif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to sheep while wearing orange jumpers.