Yimteenfag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, smart spider.

Yimteenfag created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimteenfag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yimteenfag, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yimteenfag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Yimteenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Yimteenfag on top of all buildings.

2. Do not take Yimteenfag's name in vain.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Erect seven copper sculptures of Yimteenfag on top of important buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.