Femtagrot is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, humorless frog.

Femtagrot created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femtagrot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Femtagrot, he will turn you into a dog.

Femtagrot's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Femtagrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Femtagrot on top of all buildings.

3. Always help sheep.

4. Hide from yellow nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.