Talmatsit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish bear.

Talmatsit created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talmatsit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talmatsit, he will be mildly annoyed.

Talmatsit's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Talmatsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ducks.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near ants while wearing mauve boots and balancing six aluminium spheres on your back.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Put Talmatsit first in all things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.