Tafbamgessart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, slow snake.

Tafbamgessart created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Tafbamgessart, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tafbamgessart, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tafbamgessart's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tafbamgessart's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dogs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never paint your back black.

5. Never hurt manatees.