Dapfitgof is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, resourceful octopus.

Dapfitgof created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapfitgof, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dapfitgof, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dapfitgof's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dapfitgof's Holy Commandments

1. Dapfitgof loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. You must pray to Dapfitgof four times a day.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Do not hurt manatees.