Bissnegtif is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited octopus.

Bissnegtif created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnegtif, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissnegtif, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bissnegtif's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bissnegtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.