Hakortkenrutgessflig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing fish.

Hakortkenrutgessflig created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakortkenrutgessflig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakortkenrutgessflig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hakortkenrutgessflig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Hakortkenrutgessflig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine frogs approach from the west.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hakortkenrutgessflig loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about black holes.