Tipbissflow is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, egotistical squid.

Tipbissflow created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tipbissflow, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tipbissflow, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tipbissflow's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tipbissflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Retreat if three seals approach from the north.

3. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Do not shave your feet.