Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic lobster.

Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flaplisthomhaspidbessbad Bapgonmetben's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help ants.

4. Always wear red.

5. Never mention gulls.