Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered dog.

Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab, he will turn you into a plant.

Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gonstipwodnighappanpang Mangatflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of hamsters.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.