Hogtan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy bee.

Hogtan created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogtan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hogtan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hogtan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hogtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hogtan.

5. Do not drink alcohol.