Hugfettaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent monkey.

Hugfettaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugfettaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hugfettaf, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hugfettaf's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Hugfettaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hugfettaf.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Fast once a month.