Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish gnu.

Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat created parasitic wasps twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat, it will turn you into a slug.

Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat first in all things.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not take Flapgunont Jonfomdussnulcat's name in vain.

5. Never eat bark.