Gubkabtin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured skunk.

Gubkabtin created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkabtin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gubkabtin, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gubkabtin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gubkabtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of turtles.

2. Always wear green.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Do not jump in public.